I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell...

2695650752_d7a8285152_b.jpg

Yes, I'm quoting Matchbox 20. I am doing so because the phrase "I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell" so perfectly describes what it feels like when you are living with a health problem and develop quirks, fears and coping mechanisms as a result, which other people may well find rather strange.

At the risk of resembling a teenage girl seeking profound meaning in song lyrics, I have to admit that these lyrics really do effectively portray what it feels like, in my experience at least, when depression or anxiety starts to take hold: the isolation (mainly self-imposed), the drowning in thoughts, the heaviness, the fear, the feeling of pointlessness, the realisation that something is wrong and the terror that you're actually losing it, the feeling of not being understood by those around you paired with the worry that they will not be able to see past your 'weirdness' or difficulty and just walk away, the longing to get back to "how I used to be" when things were and felt normal...

All day staring at the ceiling

Making friends with shadows on my wall

All night hearing voices telling me

That I should get some sleep

Because tomorrow might be good for something

Hold on

Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown

And I don't know why

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell

I know right now you can't tell

But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see

A different side of me

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired

I know right now you don't care

But soon enough you're gonna think of me

And how I used to be, me

I'm talking to myself in public

Dodging glances on the train

And I know, I know they've all been talking about me

I can hear them whisper

And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me

Out of all the hours thinking

Somehow I've lost my mind

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell

I know right now you can't tell

But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see

A different side of me

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired

I know right now you don't care

But soon enough you're gonna think of me

And how I used to be

I've been talking in my sleep

Pretty soon they'll come to get me

Yeah, they're taking me away

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell

I know right now you can't tell

But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see

A different side of me

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired

I know right now you don't care

But soon enough you're gonna think of me

And how I used to be

Hey, how I used to be

How I used to be

Well, I'm just a little unwell

How I used to be

How I used to be

I'm just a little unwell

Photo credit: Funky64 (www.lucarossato.com) via Visual Hunt / CC BY-NC-ND

Previous
Previous

Review of "Happy Gut", by Vincent Pedre MD

Next
Next

Tackling the Poo Taboo!